I have a rather singular perspective of people, or should I say, my general perspective of people is probably a lot stronger than any individual view I have of any single person I have ever known. That is to say, I mostly see everyone as the same. Mostly because to my credit, I get taken advantage of because I tend to project myself onto others. So while I try to see everyone as I see myself, I end up seeing everyone as other, and that other is in far too many ways identical and always has been.

In short, I see people as the same, and not in a good way. In fact, I hate everyone.

But there is a very good reason for this, and it involves who you are which in my perspective consists of everyone I have ever met and interacted with or observed. Early in my life, almost every person I interacted with in my life bullied or otherwise treated me poorly. I cannot overstate how badly I was treated: I was literally bullied by most people I knew including my own family. I had to run home from school from 2nd through the 5th grade in elementary school because I would get beat up otherwise, and sometimes I didn't escape. I recall at least two occasions when I was surrounded by kids who beat me.

I eventually stopped the bullying by hitting the biggest bully back in 5th grade. It started again when I moved to Oklahoma right after 6th grade, but I quickly turned it around and became popular instead. At least, until I was molested and raped in a youth shelter where my mother had abandoned me for the second time (that I remember...).

But after I suffered brain damage, it started again. Actually, it continued later in my adolescence, I just had better control over my reactions and exposure to it through life choices I had control over. But brain damage, and being trapped in a situation because of my disability, meant that the bullying turned much worse. Even the brain damage was the result of bullying and bullying kept me from at least getting compensation from the landlord as I couldn't find a lawyer to sue for what were obviously injuries the fault of a negligent landlord. I was bullied by the courts even in my attempt to sue on my own.

The bullying is what drove me to leave the USA, and it is bullying that led me to do so on a sailboat, something I had never even considered given my hatred of the ocean until that point.

The bullying in my life has been so bad, and so universal, that it is how I see all people alive today. It is the only safe way for me to interact with people because if I don't assume I will be taken advantage of, I almost always am.

So, my perspective, how I see you, is as a greedy, self interested person who would sooner take anything and everything from me as look at me. I see you as so selfish and self absorbed as to not care about anything but your own immediate pleasure. And the fact that not one single person has answered my public pleas for help in the 17 years I have been trying to deal with brain damage says that my views of you are universal and apply to each and every one of you without exception. The only thing even remotely close has been quite sinister; the offer of conditional help in the name of appearances only. That is, people offering help with strings attached, and only in an effort to show others how good they are, not to actually do something good. Conspicuous, fake charity. No thanks.


I'm not going to apologize for seeing you this way if you are not. The fact is, you stand on the sidelines and do nothing, and that is what makes bullying happen. It doesn't happen in the absence of at least tacit consent. And that makes every single one of you a participant.

I hate you. And that applies to every single person alive today.

What you don't understand is how much I long to make exceptions, lots of exceptions.

Please, someone. Prove me wrong, but not for an audience. Prove to me that I'm not the only human being left on this planet (that uses the internet that is...)